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| Introduction | Equipment | Execution |

To quote two famous television actors, "you gotta have the right tool for the job".  This includes being a Barni.  Your equipment is the foundation off which your success is ultimately dependent.  Curiously, however, there are two separate paths which to follow.  One is the overdressed and over accessorized, the other is the underdressed and drunk.

General Gear:  

Aquasonix- So you can hear the fish bite
AM Radio -with bent or broken antenae and only one speaker
Antiquated Chevy Truck, RV or Camper-Bonus for rust, leaks, and noisy generator.
Beer Belly- Large and liver swollen
Boxer Shorts-preferably dirty
Camouflage clothing or waders
Chewing Tobacco- Skoal only
Fishing pole bell to wake you up
Flying Lure -To get to where the fish are
Foam Cooler filled with cheap domestic beer- bonus if its Pabst or Hamms
Hat- Must have some comment about your wife, kids, being old, etc.
Helicopter Lure- Endorsed by Roland Martin
Large florescent sunglasses- UV Protectant
Lawn Chair- bonus if it has fake arms like the one in Bass Pro
Lucky charm- Never leave home without it
Miniature Portable Television- In case the fishing gets slow
Pre-snelled Eagle Claw hooks
Slip on shower sandals so you don't have to put on shoes
Spincast Combo with pre-wound line (best brands are South Bend and Master)
Tackle box- the bigger the better
Underrated Sunblock- getting a perfect sunburn is crucial
Wife and/or kids
Wife beater undershirt-yellowed

Specialized Gear: 

Trout Fishing Equipment 
Bucket or Metal Stringer 
Fishing vest with numerous large pockets 
Hooks (the larger the better) 
Weights (anywhere from the largest split shots to 2 oz rubbercore sinkers)
Powerbait (includes all colors and varieties) 
Lures (wide assortment of Mepps and Salmon spoons) 
Flies (most crucial of all, bonus points if they are visible on fly drying pad) 
Net (Big 5 Nylon oversized net) 
Waders- key to stream fishing 
Bass or Catfish Fishing 
Stiffest Big 5 combo available 
Spectra-for the big ones 
Pre-rigged setup 

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Copyright © Robert Belloni 1997-2012. All Rights Reserved.
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